[video]

[velocette]

[He's been mulling this over since he met Hannibal, really.]

What was the first turning point in your life? Do you even remember who your real heroes were, when you were a kid? Or maybe some people do actually idolize their parents. For me, the only idols are the ones who can't become real, but it's been pointed out to me before that it's possible to worship someone in spite of their faults.

Comments

text//private

[routemistress]

He'll have a piece of himself missing. He's already in too many broken pieces, damn it. I've got memory gaps and it doesn't... It won't stop him knowing something's there. Your mind sticks on it like a tongue on a broken tooth. And then some other barge thing will hurt him or shove him off his balance - and you know his balance isn't great already - and it'll come bursting back out, because that can happen and this is the barge, which means it will.

Temporary relief at best, is the short answer. But I can't deny him that when I can't offer any better solutions. Can I?

Re: text//private

[velocette]

I don't believe in temporary relief. All it does is stop your mind from learning to adapt. I don't want you to do it because it's like telling someone who's burning alive to just pop a pill and stay in the fire.

If you don't want me to tell him that we talked about this, try to tell him to talk to me himself. Either way I'm going to have to talk to him about this.

text//private

[routemistress]

I know. I know.

But I lit that fire and I'm the one who shoved him into it. I don't want to do it either. But I won't refuse a direct request, because I've taken too many choices away from him already.

...I trust your judgement. Tell him whatever you think you need to tell him. If he hates me for telling you, well, he hated me already, I'll deal. Just help me not damage him any more. Please.

Re: text//private

[velocette]

Make sure he talks to me before you do anything to him. I won't remove his choices from him, even this one, but I want to try and get him through the fear before he makes any decision.

text//private

[routemistress]

[Iris appends a transcript of this conversation.]

that's what's been said so far. so no one's doing anything yet. I will.

thank you. so much, sweetheart.

Re: text//private

[velocette]

Get back to me soon as you can. And just remember that guilt is usually a poor compass.

text//private

[routemistress]

it's no compass at all. it's a fucking anchor. but I'm breathing easier now I've told you.

text//private

[velocette]

It's good to hear that. (Read that?)

Try to keep me in the loop.