[He shakes his head, smiling--beaming, almost--as if just the thought exhilarates him.]
I killed myself back home, trying to get to a river. I thought I'd be mortally wounded by the time I reached the water, and the rapids downstream would take care of the rest.
Now that I'm here I realize I would have loved to feel the rapids without a bullet in my back.
[And that, of course, is what this feels like: a resolution the mistake, finally having a glimpse of something he's mourned his whole short life.]
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2014-07-26 06:26 am (UTC)I killed myself back home, trying to get to a river. I thought I'd be mortally wounded by the time I reached the water, and the rapids downstream would take care of the rest.
Now that I'm here I realize I would have loved to feel the rapids without a bullet in my back.
[And that, of course, is what this feels like: a resolution the mistake, finally having a glimpse of something he's mourned his whole short life.]