(no subject)

[velocette]

[As usual, he's smoking. And it's not unusual that he's staring at the smoke like he's been hypnotized, but he's smiling more than he has in the years he's been on board.]

You know, I've been so fixated on these things for so many years. On cigarettes, I mean, Kools if I could get them--and it's funny that these are the greyest thing in my life. The single thing that lacks color now. I sort of expected the smoke to be blue...or pink.

I actually stopped seeing color when I was four. I think that was when I stopped believing in God, Santa, and the American Dream. I assumed for a long time that everyone went colorblind (literally, figuratively, whichever) when they got old enough to be cynical. But I came here and I met a real muse, and I've realized that I was mostly wrong.

I wonder what the rest of you lost when you stopped being kids? I don't expect many of you will answer, since most of you are understandably very sensitive about your pasts, but it's a real question. What did you lose when you grew up?

Comments

[whatthewrackspurt]

I think it was when my mother died. Those sorts of things tend to change you as a person.

I'm sorry about your sight.

[velocette]

[She's probably used to sympathy when she mentions her mother, and he's sympathetic, too.] I can imagine that it does. Were you close to her?

And don't worry; a friend fixed my sight. It's a miracle, or as close to one as I've ever seen. [He stares a lot as a rule, but he's staring extra hard at her.] At least I think she did. Your hair's white to me.

[whatthewrackspurt]

Oh yes: very.

[Luna doesn't seem to mind the staring, and twirls her hair around with a finger]

That's fortunate of you. And you're close - it's a very whitish shade of blonde. Which is mostly yellow if it were dipped in milk.

[routemistress]

Nothing to lose but me chains, Piper my darling. Figuratively speaking, any road.

D'you know what my name means?

[BRB in the lab formulating rainbow tobacco.]

[velocette]

[He grins] I don't think you're in any danger of losing your colors. You might have grown up but I don't see you growing cynical.

Your name is a flower, right? Or a muscle in the eye, but that's probably not the first thing that's supposed to come to mind.

[routemistress]

Both, but those came from a goddess that made rainbows. So no; colour's in my blood and bones. I've seen too much to ever believe in owt being impossible, me.

Private

[walkthedarkpath]

I had no idea you were colorblind. I am curious as to how different the world must be for you.

And fair is fair, for the question I return the answer to yours, I lost my heart. [ he likes you Piper, that's why you get points most don't, short of Sylvanas, Kara and maybe Bleu.]

Private

[velocette]

It's like being permanently caught in a dream. Sometimes my mind just accepts things; other times I wonder if I'm going to wake up.

[His smile fades a little when Vergil tells him about his heart.] That's a big thing to lose. What happened?

Private

[walkthedarkpath]

That must have made life rather interesting. [ He actually sounded a little sympathetic, but hey. his coat is a lovely shade of blue.] And how does the world seem now?

Remember me telling you about my parents? They both died when I was eight, Father scarified himself to save the world. And the demons slaughtered my mother. I thought Dante was dead too. Thing have never quiet been the same since. I cant feel like I used to, I'm not even sure I would want to if I could.

[ He spoke as he sat back in his chair looking at the display. ]

[strangehistorian]

Oh, I am sorry. I didn't know.

[velocette]

It's all right. I didn't mind so much before, and now she's fixed it....

[Maybe she's fixed it.] Your hair isn't-

[strangehistorian]

Someone's fixed it?

...My hair isn't what? I don't understand.

[150th]

I did not have a childhood.

Many species can walk as soon as they are born. The long protective period that humans give to their offspring is not so common.

[velocette]

That's true. I think it's only seen in elephants and whales or dolphins, or apes, which aren't so different from people anyway.

Have you always been like you are now?

[150th]

A more complicated question than it seems. In what way?

[sharpsurprise]

Fear, I think. I was very afraid as a child, and when I grew up I learned that I didn't have to be.

[velocette]

[Ooh this is interesting.] Because you learned to transcend fear, or because you learned to kill the things you had feared?

[Private]

[punched_hitler]

Now? [You said now, does that mean something's changed?]

I don't know that I lost anything, honestly. Some days I still don't feel very grown up. Are you sure you've got to lose something, to do it?

[Private]

[velocette]

[He smiles.] Bleu fixed me. I think it counts as a miracle; we should nominate her for sainthood.

I think that's why you remind me of my brother. He'll never lose himself, either. I guess it's entirely possible to go through life without letting life maim you, or without letting yourself become bitter about it; most people just get very fixated on what they've lost along the way.

What's it like for you? Not feeling very grown up?

[ichoosefight]

A whole lot of fear and anger.

[ She still has them, of course. Mostly she's just gained mechanisms for coping with them effectively. ]

[velocette]

You're lucky. Fear and anger only seem to pile up on people as they get older, not the other way around.

How'd you do it?

Private

[bodilesswarrior]

I don't think it's quite so clear-cut for most people. It's more gradual, even if there are - leaps.

Re: Private

[velocette]

Was it gradual for you?

[He's really curious because he can imagine someone like Barbara, more than most people, can identify those 'leaps' in life.]

[spam]

[rhapsody_in]

[Bleu sidles up to him, looping her arm with his and reaching out her hand for the cigarette.]

Why'd you stop believing? I'm not saying they're real, of course, but four is young to become so skeptical.

[A long pause, and then she adds something.] I wanted to tell you something earlier, but I didn't want you to think I said it rashly.

[spam]

[velocette]

[He gives her the cigarette happily, and pulls her closer to his side.]

I was four when she decided to move away. She took me with her at first and I thought it was an adventure; then she left me at a truck stop, and by the time I was sent back home to my dad I just couldn't see color anymore. Anywhere. It felt like all the pretty stories had been peeled off the world.

[He isn't bitter toward his mother, he never minded being color blind until he saw those fish and met Bleu. So he was happy enough for all those years; he's much happier now, though.]

Tell me?