velocette | (no subject)

[As usual, he's smoking. And it's not unusual that he's staring at the smoke like he's been hypnotized, but he's smiling more than he has in the years he's been on board.]

You know, I've been so fixated on these things for so many years. On cigarettes, I mean, Kools if I could get them--and it's funny that these are the greyest thing in my life. The single thing that lacks color now. I sort of expected the smoke to be blue...or pink.

I actually stopped seeing color when I was four. I think that was when I stopped believing in God, Santa, and the American Dream. I assumed for a long time that everyone went colorblind (literally, figuratively, whichever) when they got old enough to be cynical. But I came here and I met a real muse, and I've realized that I was mostly wrong.

I wonder what the rest of you lost when you stopped being kids? I don't expect many of you will answer, since most of you are understandably very sensitive about your pasts, but it's a real question. What did you lose when you grew up?

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Oh, when I ran away. From the Obverse universe to the bigger one. I'd found this broken-down old bus in the desert... actually, it were - a friend, that found it.

That might be what this is like for you, Piper mine. Everything in that 'ouse and that desert were this miserable shade of ancient beigey grey. Like magnolia wallpaper aged a thousand years. That bus were the first splash of colour I ever remember seeing.

That's exactly what this has been.

There's a belief where I'm from that everyone can succeed if they work hard enough, but it's largely a lie. Success is different for every person, just like the things that bring us happiness are different when you stop to look at them closely. And for me, there was never any scenario at home where I could have had the success that would have brought me happiness.

Everything I ever wanted and could never have at home is here on the Barge.

Was that how it was with your bus?